Grace Is Gone (2007)

Directed by James Strouse, Grace Is Gone (2007) tells a story of how a family reacted towards the loss of their love ones in war. In this case, Grace who was the wife of the main character of this movie, Stanley Philips and a mother to 2 daughters Heidi and Dawn died in a war. When the news was brought to Stanley he did not know how to break it to the girls. When the girls returned from schools, Stanley called the girls to the living room to talk to the girls about their mother’s death. However, his intention was delayed when he saw how carelessly and happily the girls were playing with each other as though nothing has happened. It was then when Stanly decided to hold on to the news a little longer so that the girls don’t have to face the grief of losing their mother so soon. In addition to that, Stanley also gets to live as though his wife has never left when he was with the girls.

In the movie, Stanley agreed to a random suggestion by Dawn to visit the Enchanted Garden which was few days drive away. When Heidi brought up reasons to oppose the idea, Stanley replied by saying, “What if we did right now went to Enchanted Garden? If that’s something you’d like to do why not?”. He also kept asking what other fun activities the girls would like to do on their journey. It seems to me as though Stanley was temporary trying to run way from reality by engaging with something fun with that girls that can put his mind of the grief. He even drove into the fields recklessly to tell Heidi who has been overthinking in every action they did that when he was a teenager, he did what he felt was fun without giving much thought about it. He taught Heidi lessons with his actions rather than the usual parent-child lecture most conventional family do.

While experiencing grief, the feeling of anger, depression, despair, shock, and disbelief come into the picture. Throughout the movie, after learning the loss of his wife, Stanley was despair despite trying to act as though nothing has happened in front of his daughters. This can be seen at instances when his facial expression suddenly changes from a happily laughing with the girl to a heavy depressed expression. Another example is seen when he cried at his mother’s place when the girls went out to play with their uncle. Like many griever, Stanley was engaged in a coping mechanism. He called home to listen to his wife’s voice mail recording and talk to her on the phone. Stanley decision to bring the girls to the Enchanted Garden was also a coping strategy that could bring him closer to his wife as it was the last place they visited before she departed. Lastly, after Stanley was ready to tell his daughters about their mother’s passing, he learnt a new way of coping with the loss of his beloved wife from Dawn by having a moment of silence to think about his wife when the digital watch rings.

  

When I first watch this movie in KPD E, I actually fell asleep as the progress of the movie was too slow. However, when I rewatched it at home, I was able to empathise more with Stanley. I suspect the reason why I wasn’t interested in the movie while I was in KPD E was because I was sitting around with friends, and my protective mechanism was up against something that reminds me of the vulnerability of the life of people around us. A lesson this movie taught me was that we can’t run away from fear forever, we will eventually face them in order to move forward in life.   

Sybil

Sybil who was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder(DID) was a victim to a traumatic child abuse by her schizophrenic mother.  Some of Sybal's identity was awaken only when she was being exposed to a specific stimulus. In the movie Dr Wilbur employed Freudian's psychoanalytical approach in Sybil's treatment. This can be seen when Dr Wilbur requested Sybil to draw pieces of her dreams for dream analysis. In addition to that, during a therapeutic session with Sybil, Dr Wilbur allowed Sybil to talk while she was laying on a coach with Dr Wilbur out of her sight. Hypnosis was also used as a resource to acquire greater depths of details of Sybil's hidden memories by communicating with the other dissociated identities in Sybil. Throughout the entire therapeutic process, Dr Wilbur successfully portray an unconditional positive regards towards her patient, Sybil, despite having lost patient in one or two occasions. Dr Wilbur also played a role of a nurturer to Sybil in order to gain complete trust from Sybil.  Some people argued that Dr Wilbur's therapy did not meet the ethical standards In the field of psychotherapy. However, these approaches seemed to be a success in recovering a hidden memory of Sybil's traumatic childhood with her schizophrenic mother. So whether or not a concise line should be drawn at the boundary is indeed arguable. One may argue that if there is no boundary as to how far a therapist should go, psychotherapy may go out of hand, and unethical individuals might make use of their skills to take advantages from their patient. In the contrary, others may support the fact that in special cases such as that of Sybil's, therapists should be permitted to cross the line for the sake of providing maximum assistance in helping their patient recover and live a normal life. I personally think ethical standards should be uphold with a flexibility to cross the line occasionally only when it's beneficial to the patients' recovery.

The debate surrounding whether or not DID really exist is still on a surge. The main reason behind the uncertainties of DID arises in accordance to the unusual rise in the number of reported cases of DID in counties where movie or tv shows of DID are screened. Another evidence supporting this is the rare occurrence of DID cases, in addition to Shirley Mason, a DID patient whom Sybil's story is based on, claimed to have made everything up to seek attention. As being portrayed in the movie, Sybil confessed to Dr Wilbur that she was not suffering from DID when they were about to uncover some of the deepest ends of Sybil's darkest memories. But it was just a fake confession made up by Sybil to stop Dr Wilbur from digging deeper into an untouchable memory. In real life, people who believed in DID proposed that most DID patients were victim of a early or middle childhood abuse. At such, a defense mechanism arises as a protective measures to help them cope with an unbearable disturbances. This could be a part of a more serious case of dissociative amnesia which proceeded into the development of multiple identities in its victims. I personally do not have a clear stand as to whether or not DID exist as an independent mental disorder itself or it's just story made up by victims of a combination of other mental disorders. There should be more neurological research conducted on existing DID patient in order to add on to the debate. Lastly, through my observation, putting aside biological influences, most if not all chronic mental disorder like DID and psychopathy arises from an unfulfilling and/or abusive childhood. This shows how important it is in providing children with a secure, safe and loving environment while they are growing up.

The Sixth Sense

Self disclosure

At the beginning of the movie, cole did not believe the Dr Malcolm was able to help him with his condition. He was called a freak at school for seeing and saying things that would put people in distress. To make things worse, he was being physically and mentally abused by his peers and teachers for instance, in a history class, his teacher became mad and shouted at Cole when Cole annoy him Infront of the class. In addition to that, his peers locked him up I'm a dungeon in a birthday party celebration. Even the child psychologist Cole used to see was not able to help him with his situation. As a result. Cole would easily assume Dr Malcolm to be just another individual who would eventually lose faith on him.

Fortunately, Dr Malcolm was determine in helping Cole. He first attempted to gain Cole's trust by playing games and showing magic tricks to him. Although Cole and Dr Malcolm started becoming friends, Cole was still holding back to his secrets. He only started exposing his secret when Dr began sharing about his failing relationship with his wife. When Dr Malcolm disclose himself to Cole, it showed that he had handed his trust to Cole. In return, Cole decided to trust Dr Malcolm by reviewing the secret he has been hiding all these while.

Personal biases

I am both surprise and disappointed when I saw the twist of the film when Dr Malcolm realized that he was already dead. My initial expectation of the film was to see a scientific explanation of why some people claim to see superstitious beings. In the contrary, the film intends to persuade its audiences into believing the existence of  superstitious beings. To be honest, sympathies with Vole's condition, but I personally do not believe in the existence of superstitious being as there is no scientific evidence indicating its existence both directly and indirectly. I would agree with Dr Malcolm's initial assumption that Cole could be suffering from lesions from brain regions like the occipital lobe or may be undergoing schizophrenia of an underlying mental disorder that has yet to be known. However, this is just an assumption from a scientific view. In order to reject the null hypothesis, a thorough research needs to be carried out in this field.

Whale Rider

Gender stereotype, love and cognitive dissonance

The movie kick start with a typical gender stereotype where men are more superior as compared to woman. This can be seen In Koro's reaction when Paikea's twin brother passed on. Koro held on strongly onto the tradition and rituals in the Maori community, which stated that only the first born son from each family are allowed to be the chef in the Maori community. Despite being firm and strict in a way, Koro's love for his granddaughter, Paikea can be seen in some occasions in the film. For instance, Koro tend to cycle. Paikea to and back from school everyday. And when Paikea decided to leave with her father, Koro showed his love by requesting to cycle Paikea for the last time before she left.  Koro's love towards Paikea became contradictory when Paikea began showing signs of leadership suggesting that she could be the next chef of the Maori community. For example, when Paikea successfully start the broken engine without the aid of external tools, Koro stormed at her in anger. As a result of the contradiction between love and gender stereotype, Koro struggled with cognitive dissonance which had led him into a self-defense mechanism of denial.

From denial to acceptance

At the beginning when Koro began to realize Paikea's potential in leadership, Koro was in a denial. He refused to provide Paikea with equal learning opportunity when he was training the first born boys in the community. In addition to that, he also refused to cycle Paikea back from school like how he used to do before Paikea decide to stay in the community instead of leaving with her father. Koro's denial slowly evolved into acceptance when Paikea kept proving her ability in the movie. For instance, when Koro refused to teach Paikea the traditional martial art of the Maori community, Paikea was able to learn for her uncle Rawiri and beat Koro's student. Paikea again proved her determination by diving into the ocean to recover Koro's lost whale tooth, which the boys easily gave up on searching. Towards the end of the movie, Paikea showed her worthiness by riding on a whale to lead the other back into the ocean. At the end of the movie, Koro completely accepted the fact that Paikea will be the next leader in the. Maori community.

Connection to the nature

I personally find the scenes of the whales swimming in the ocean heart warming. The interaction of the Maori community and the whales reminds us how our ancestors used to be so close to the nature in their daily life.

Forget Paris

The title of the movie was named Forget Paris as an indication that all romantic relationship started off sweet and lovely, just like Mickey and Ellen's relationship when they first met in France. However, along the journey in the relationship,  circumstances would arise and result in undesired conflict and argument. For instance, Ellen quit the job she loves just to be with Mickey but she wasn't happy. Mickey then left his dream job as a referee at the NBA to fulfill Ellen's needs. These circumstances eventually drive both party into dissatisfaction which leads to arguments. There was when things started to go out of hand, Mickey and Ellen tend to compare their messy relationship to the good old days when the relationship just started when they were in Paris. As a result, in order for Mickey and Ellen to move forward in the relationship with satisfaction, they ought to let go of their expectation of the relationship, and thus, forget Paris.

In most films, their story ended at the beginning of a love story, allowing audiences to assume that the story will go on in a happily ever after way. This films took us through the journey of a romantic relationship where we can see the ups and downs of a couple relationship. We get to see how a relationship revolutionalised from a romantic love to a consummate love in Sternberg’s Triangular Theory
of Love. The relationship between Mickey and Ellen started off with passion and intimacy, which Sternberg term it as a romantic love. This is where most relationship began. This stage can be seen when Mickey and Ellen was going out together in Paris. Commitment started coming into the relationship when they decided to commit into a marriage. However, their relationship started to fluctuate from the point when Ellen moved from Paris to live with Mickey. The instability in relationship alters around the 3 main factors suggested by Sternberg in this theory of love. The 3 factors were passion, intimacy and commitment. For instance, at one point in the relationship, Mickey and Ellen started to distance themselves from each other. That was when there were only commitment left in their relationship. Sternbergn called this an empty love. Fortunately their relationship managed to bounds back into a consummate love towards the end of the movie when both Ellen and Mickey decided to let go of the past and expectations to be together again.